Addict
by CrazyRach
Summary: Taylor didn't mean to follow Andrea. Andrea didn't mean to be followed. She just wanted a quiet space to breathe. Now Taylor knows her secret. Now she knows what emos do when they sneak off alone. Contains dark triggers.
1. Chapter 1

Nobody likes pain. Nobody likes to think back on their lives and feel their scars reopen. Everyone has a way to avoid it. Everyone has a secret escape route tucked away for safe keeping. Some turn to drink. Some pleasure. Others find comfort in friendship. But not Andrea. She preferred silence and solitude, peace and quiet. And a dark spot away from spying eyes.

Taylor's breathing fast. She's not sure what she's watching, not sure whether to intervene or not. Her eyes are glued to the serenity passing over Andrea's face, the look of peace. She's never seen the emo look so calm, and it worries her. It intrigues her. Maybe that's why she can't leave. She wants to know why. Why is Andrea like that? Why is she here? Taylor doesn't have to wait long to see an answer. Her breath catches when she sees the blade. Her eyes widen and she takes a sudden step closer to the door.

She's lost count of how many times she's sneaked in here, this room of refuge. She's never paid enough attention to remember properly. Too busy focusing on hiding away. She's already set up in the teachers desk chair, staring up at the ceiling. She knows she should probably use one of the other seats but she's far too comfy now to move. Her mind is a foggy blaze of buried memories and unshed tears. They haunt her relentlessly and continue to force her to come down here. They force her to hurt. She vaguely registers the gentle tapping of little droplets hitting the floor by her foot. She vaguely feels a warmth burn somewhere by her wrist. She knows it hurts but she can't feel it. It's an addiction. Feeling this way. An incurable disease. A want of pain and release mixed into one carefully measured adrenaline filled cut. Andrea closes her eyes and tips her head back, letting herself sink inside it. Because it's like being in another world. A mini break from reality. And she needs that today. She craves it. She always craves it.

Taylor tastes blood. She sees blood. She's biting her lip so hard to stop herself from rushing into the room. She wants to stop the emo. Wants to stop the blood. But she knows she shouldn't. Knows this is a routine for Andrea, an escape. And if that's broken by her, a chav, there will be hell to pay. So she stands, nervously shifting her weight from leg to leg and biting down harder on her bottom lip when she watches Andrea make another cut. Taylor shivers. The dead look in Andrea's eyes while she contemplates where to press the blade frightens Taylor. It's so cold and detached. But that smile is anything but. She never understood before how someone could get off on harming themselves like that. Never really got how it could be addictive. But now she did. She was trapped just watching it happen. She wanted both to see more and make it stop. So how must it feel to be the cutter? Andrea's spaced out smile says it all. It's peaceful. It's release.

The dripping slows after a moment and she's brought back with a sharp sting in her right hand. The cold air trickling in from the window rests over her open skin, burns it. She keeps her eyes closed. She knows if she looked down at the floor she'd feel sick. She'd be sick. Something that continues to embarrass her as an emo. Her wrist is drenched. Arm is sticky. Her hand tickles with the trails of red dripping off her fingers. Her entire right side is probably covered with it. She doesn't like this bit. She doesn't like coming back to the reality of it. It hurts more than what the cut should.

She's pacing silently up and down by the door, mentally cussing at herself. She shouldn't have watched that. She shouldn't have stayed. She should have gone in and stopped it. She's scared. Absolutely scared. That was a lot of blood. That was a lot of colour leaving Andrea's already pale face. That is a very very deep cut. Taylor's trembling. Her hands are shaking. All she can see is blood and Andrea's closed eyes and her white skin. All she can think about is going in there and finding Andrea is a corpse. A real corpse. She's scratching lines into her neck trying to stay quiet, trying to cover up the stress. She should go in. Definitely. She should also leave. The indecision is killing her. She hates not knowing what to do. So she looks back at the room and finally stops pacing. Her breathing slows and her mind goes blank.

She shifts herself in her seat and her foot slips through the sticky liquid covering the floor beside the chair. She swallows. Maybe she took it too far. Too late now. She picks up her tie from her lap and blindly wraps it around her wrist, refusing to look at what she's done. She never can. She always feels sick afterwards, ashamed. She shakily stands, shaking her head to rid herself of the dizziness, and steadily makes her way over to her bag in the corner.

The emo is moving again. She's getting up. Taylor let's out a deep breath. For a second there she thought... She shakes her head. She doesn't want to think about what she thought. Her eyes follow Andrea to the back of the room, to a bag she had stashed behind a desk. Taylor frowns to herself. Now what's she doing? Andrea pulls the bag up onto the table and Taylor's so close to the door she can smell the old paint. She's holding her breath waiting. Andrea's hands come up to unbutton her shirt, right arm staining the white fabric more. Taylor's still watching. She feels like a peeping tom but she needs to know what happens next. Andrea stiffly pulls the shirt off and then Taylor does gasp. Andrea's body is covered in scars. White ones she's done before. Faded ones from years ago. And the ones Taylor can't stand looking at, the raised pink ones. The fresh ones. She feels a tear slip down her cheek. She's thinking about all the pain that must cause the emo. About the pain she must have been in creating them. The pain she was in to have created them. Taylor can't take it anymore. She opens the door and cautiously walks up to Andrea.

She hears footsteps but doesn't react. She's still a little blurry. A voice mumbles her name but she can't think enough to register who it belongs to. A hand strokes her cheek, an arm snakes her waist, and a warmth floods through her when she looks up at Taylor. The chav looks concerned. Actually concerned for her. Andrea wants to laugh. The chav grasps her right hand and gently raises it up. Andrea doesn't like how red Taylor's fingers go when she picks the tie loose. She wants Taylor to stop. She doesn't want her seeing what she's done but she doesn't want her not to either. In a way she's glad the chav found her. She's sick of hiding. Taylor's eyes are burning with something as she lets the sodden tie drop to the floor and it confuses Andrea. Is that pain in the chavs eyes? Actual pain? She watches Taylor take in the open wound, watches her swallow. Is she trying to stop herself being sick? Probably. Andrea wouldn't blame her. She feels woozy again and sways a little. Taylor catches her. Surprises her. Andrea looks up at her. Taylor caught her.

Taylor's heart is running a mile in her chest. And her brain is doubling that speed. She's thinking about what she should do. What she has to do. She should shout for help. She should call someone. She should drag the emo kicking and screaming to matron to get sorted out. But she doesn't. She just holds Andrea tighter against her, steadying her against the dizziness. Becomes her anchor to consciousness and reality. She surprised herself when she caught the girl, when she walked in, when she stopped outside the door, when she followed her out the dorm, when she noticed that strange look in Andrea's eyes during lessons. She surprised herself. And she surprised Andrea too. There's a tension in the body she's holding. There's an angry flicker in those hazel eyes. There's a vague weak promise of pain later. But Taylor doesn't care. She never cared about that. She never cared about the emo. Until now. She can feel Andrea's heart stab into her, can see it pumping more blood out of her wrist. She presses her palm over it, squeezing over the cut to stop it bleeding. Andrea shakes a little in her grasp, she gasps aloud with the pain. Taylor's thumb strokes reassurance on the emos wrist and she holds Andrea closer.

Andrea can feel the tears coming. Can feel the breakdown creeping up on her. She needs Taylor to get off now. She needs to stop it before she infects the chav like she did the others. She's not sure why she cares about that. Not sure why she cares about anything. Taylor's stroking her skin, rubbing the blood into both of them. It's comforting. It's reassurance. It's a promise she'll help. Andrea never had help before. She never asked for it. Maybe she needs it. She breathes calmly in and out, using the slow rise and fall of Taylor's chest as a marker for her own breaths. Her heart slows back to normal, her mind clears. She looks up at Taylor. She's still staring at her arm. There's a fear in those eyes. And Andrea doesn't like it. Taylor pulls her own tie out of her pocket and wraps it tight above the cut, praying it works as a tourniquet to stem the bleeding. Andrea's surprised. She didn't know Taylor knew first aid. She raises her hand to touch Taylor's neck, to feel a heart beat strong against her fingers, and she uses it as a beacon for her own. Taylor glanced down at her confused. Andrea feels nervous. Here come the questions.

Andrea doesn't say anything. She doesn't need to. Taylor can tell she's scared. She starts moving the emo away to a table so they can both sit, worrying Andrea might collapse if she stays standing. She keeps her close when they do sit. She needs to keep a hand over the bleeding and a hand on the girls heartbeat. She's worried of what might happen if she let go of both. Andrea looks pale, so pale. Her eyes are missing their usual mischief and danger. There's only pain and sadness in them now. And Taylor hates it. She shifts closer, pulls Andrea into her some more, and she smiles when the emo eventually rests her head on her shoulder. Taylor let's out a heavy breath, let's out the tension, and forces herself to calm a little. And Andrea copies her.

Taylor doesn't need to ask questions. Doesn't need to voice a judgments. Because there are none. Andrea can feel the chavs protectiveness for her in her hug. Can feel the worry in the hand pressed tight over her wrist. Can hear the need to find out why in those almost silent breaths of stress creeping out between the calm ones. Andrea doesn't tell her. Andrea won't tell her. She came here to avoid all that. But then... She can't not tell the chav. Not now she's seen this. She takes a deep breath and forces herself to look up and face her. Her heart is pounding in her throat. Her mind is throwing her all the different looks of disgust Taylor will throw at her, all the names and blackmails. It makes her feel sick as she pulls her eyes up.

She almost cries when she sees Taylor's smile. It's one of comfort. Of warmth. She doesn't need to know. She doesn't want to know. Not if Andrea doesn't want her to. Andrea feels herself break then. She feels the tears slip down her cheeks, watches them stain Taylor's shirt. She feels so relieved and bad all at once. Taylor just holds her tighter, holds her together. And promises she'll make it better, she'll make it alright. And Andrea believes her.


	2. Chapter 2

This is the twelfth time they've snuck in here now. Andrea doesn't even need to ask anymore. Taylor just knows. It'd been awkward at first, when the emo first started to slowly open up. It hurt her just verbalising her problems. It made things worse. And Taylor didn't like it. So she came up with something, a tiny idea that surprised them both. They'd been in the hospital when she suggested it, just casually stuck for hours in A&E getting Andrea's wrist fixed. She'd been nervous at first for the emos reaction, surely she'd think it was stupid. But Andrea didn't. She simply nodded. Taylor must have spent a good forty minutes after that trying to get the nurse off talking about her kids so she could ask about skin products that might help Andrea. Andrea had smirked the entire time.

At first it didn't work right because the emo never asked Taylor for help like she was supposed to. She just went back to normal life. Went back to sneaking away to hurt. And Taylor kept walking in on her with a disappointed eye every time she took Andrea back to the hospital. And it was that constant feeling of shame that made Andrea reconsider Taylor's offer.

Taylor pulls two stools up and lights the old oil lamp. It fills the room with a small shaking light that spreads shadows across the old cobwebbed books and the skeleton in the corner. Andrea smiles around at it as she lingers in the doorway. It feels dark and creepy. It's familiar and reassuring. Taylor sits down on a stool and taps her foot against the other one. Andrea sighs and sits with her back to the chav. Taylor just smirks at the emos reluctance and reaches into her pocket for the bottle. She opens it and tugs on the back of Andrea's shirt, giving the emo a deadly serious look when she glances back at her. Andrea sighs again and pulls it off, moving slow because her wrist stings. Then she sits waiting for it, the moment when Taylor gets over the surprise and gets to work. It doesn't take long today. In fact the chav started the second the shirt hit the floor. Andrea frowns ahead at the old bookshelves. Doesn't she care anymore?

Taylor's smiling. She can feel Andrea's confusion in the tense muscles twitching under her hands while she rubs the oil over the scars. The emo's wondering why Taylor isn't just sat there staring at her back, staring at the scars. Taylor shakes her head to herself. She didn't care about them like that. She wanted them gone, she didn't want to make Andrea feel bad or ugly by spending the day staring at them. It wasn't right and it wasn't fair. So she ignored their existence in favour of making then go away. And it was working. In all the times they'd come in here Taylor had touched and memorised every single scar. And now she was happy to see they were beginning to fade under her hard work. She smiles. She likes doing something right, something nice for the emo. It feels good. She blinks to herself. Oh god, she likes the emo doesn't she?

Taylor's hands are starting to press harder into her back, kneading the stress away. Andrea would have been surprised only she's too busy enjoying it to care. Who knew Taylor's hands could do something other than throttle her? She smiles to herself. That chav never stops surprising her. Taylor's fingers dig harder into her skin for a moment to relieve her of a knotted shoulder and Andrea gasps. Taylor's hand vanishes suddenly, and she asks what's wrong. Andrea ignores her. Tells her to carry on already. Taylor sighs and does as she's told.

Taylor's smirking a little. She liked that gasp. She liked the little stretch out of her seat Andrea did with the massage. She likes the little flush of pink running across Andrea's skin. Her hands continue rubbing oil into the scars, keep manipulating them to leave. Taylor hopes they do. She knows now that's why Andrea hides away from everyone else's games. Why she refuses to wear t-shirts in the summer. And why she reacted so badly to Taylor during their fights. Taylor swallows when she thinks it over. Every time she hit the emo she was causing her so much pain, she was making her hurt even more. It kills the chav thinking about it. She's even cried about it. She never wants that to happen again. She never wants to fight with Andrea again. She just wants to help. And she will. Whether Andrea wants it or not. She'll always be there to help.

Andrea hears the bottle cap spin back on, hears Taylor moving behind her. The chav stands up and moves around to kneel in front of the emo. Andrea doesn't like this bit. Because she has to see what Taylor's thinking every time she looks at one of the scars. It makes her feel sick with herself every time she sees the hurt flicker in those golden spheres. She feels disgusted. It makes her wish she never did what she did. Made her wish she could go back and stop it. But she can't. Taylor looks up at her with a smile, she's reassuring her again. Andrea's starting to like this side to the chav. It'd been a little unnerving at first, she had no idea Taylor could be so soft and caring. And now she does she's starting to believe Taylor can't be anything else. She wonders how many other sides the chav is hiding. And she surprises herself when she wants to know. Needs to know. She's brought out of her thoughts when Taylor taps on her knee, on the little white line peeking out in the tear in her pjs. She feels herself go red with embarrassment. Taylor's still waiting. Andrea sighs. This was their deal. Taylor helps her out and in exchange Andrea tells her a story for every new scar Taylor discovers. She thought at first Taylor saw it as a game. But she knows she doesn't. There's nothing but seriousness in those eyes while they wait for her. She takes a deep breath, looking up at those eyes again for encouragement. Taylor smiles it, radiates it. Andrea tells her, cringing with embarrassment as she goes. She didn't make that one. At least not on purpose. It's a genuine scar from the time she tried to teach herself how to ride a bike. It'd been a complete failure. She'd done nothing but shake everywhere before the bike fell taking her with it. She still cringes when she remembers it. She pulls her eyes up to Taylor, readying herself for the mocking. She gets surprised again.

Taylor doesn't laugh. She just smiles. She's glad there's a happy story behind this one. All the others have been pretty bad. She rolls her sleeve up some more and shows Andrea the one she got from trying to prove how she thought smashing your elbow into a glass table didn't hurt. Andrea's eyes twinkle a little with amusement and she touches the scar. Taylor let's her. She's doesn't mind Andrea laughing at her. She preferred the emo laughed. She likes it even. Andrea calls her silly and Taylor just nods with a dopey grin before she rubs a little oil over the lines marking Andrea's hip and stomach, avoiding the little bike scar completely. She figures Andrea should at least keep that one to remind her. They keep sharing little stories as Taylor's hands continue to move over Andrea. Neither girl seem to think about the cringing touch of the other now, they're too busy laughing at each other to mind.

Taylor stands up when she's finished. She pops the bottle back into her pocket and lends Andrea a hand up. The emo is watching her a little funnily, maybe she's trying to think about her in a different way. Taylor doesn't know. Taylor doesn't care. She squeezes the emos fingers before letting them go and let's Andrea pull her shirt back on, stepping forward to help out when the emo gasps with pain. She avoids smiling at the deep blush reaching Andrea's face. She knows she'll get a smack if she says anything about it. Besides, she doesn't want to upset the girl. All if this us to get her smiling again. So as much as Taylor wants to laugh and gently tease the emo she doesn't. She just smiles that comforting smile.

Andrea just stands there feeling stupid while Taylor buttons her shirt up for her. The chav knows what she's thinking and tells the emo not to worry about it. Andrea just shrugs, and then she winces again when it upsets her shoulder. Taylor's holding her breath a little, she can tell from the way the chavs wincing with her. She gently knocks Taylor's fingers away from her shirt and gives her a half smile to say she's okay. Taylor doesn't believe her but she drops it. She fiddles with her hands for an awkward second while Andrea finishes off buttoning her shirt before she holds her arms out to the emo. And Andrea surprises herself when she steps into the hug willingly. It's warm. And comfortable. Somehow Taylor's hug easily out rivals the comfiest chair or bed any day. She snuggles into the chav's neck, wraps her arms around Taylor's back. Taylor let's her. Andrea just wishes Taylor would hold her like she did the other day. All tight and reassuring. But she doesn't. She guesses Taylor doesn't want to upset anything. She doesn't realise she's upsetting Andrea not doing it.

They stand for a few minutes, just hugging and swaying a little on the spot. It's amazing really. It feels amazing too. But then andrea gets a little insecure. She starts to think maybe it's a trap. Which she knows is just ridiculous after all Taylor's done for her but she can't help it. So she coughs an excuse about homework and Taylor reluctantly lets her go.

They quickly put the stools back and Taylor blows the lamp out, leaving them to blindly walk out the room. It's not easy. They stumble into each other more than once and each time it happens both girls insult the other and laugh. Not meaning any of it for a second. Taylor shuts the door behind them. She leans on the jamb. Her eyes are trained on Andrea, she's worrying again. Andrea shifts about on the spot, not sure whether to say something or just leave. Luckily Taylor answers that for her. Andrea looks down when Taylor takes her hand and she watches the chav pull a pen out of her pocket and scrawl a number on her skin. It's a little thing, something Taylor doesn't really expect Andrea to use. She's half hoping she will though. She tells Andrea to text whenever she wants. And then she moves around the emo to walk away, knowing that Andrea won't want to be caught with her.

Andrea frowns after her a second. She stares down at the blue ink tattooing her pale skin. She's confused. She wants to thank Taylor. She wants her to know she appreciates the help. Because she honestly does. But she doesn't know how. Screams and fights are all she's ever shared with the chav before. She's not so sure she can do nice. She's not sure she can trust herself to. But it's not right letting Taylor do all this without saying anything about it. Andrea dithers on the spot and chews on her lip before forcing herself into a decision.

Taylor just smirks when Andrea catches her up. She'd been walking slow for the past few corridors, just knowing the emo would go after her. They don't speak while they walk. They barely glance back at each other. But Taylor doesn't mind. Andrea's always been the quiet type, she's used to the quiet. The chav catches Andrea looking down at the numbers on her hand again and she smiles. She thought maybe Andrea would laugh at the idea of her calling or texting her, thought maybe Andrea would scrub the numbers off. But no, they're still there. Taylor even suspects Andrea to use them. Taylor shakes her head to herself. Never in a millions years did she ever expect herself to become chummy with an emo. It's a miracle alright.

They reach the dorm and Taylor awkwardly coughs and gestures into the room. Andrea looks up at her. She looks like she wants to say something. Taylor just smiles. Andrea doesn't have to say it. She knows she's trying to thank her. Taylor takes a quick glance around the dorm before holding her fist out to Andrea. The emo smiles down at it before she takes her own glance around the dorm. Taylor chuckles and bumps fists with the emo. She gives her a wink before walking into the room to her bed. Andrea follows and frowns over at her from her own bed. Taylor just pretends she doesn't notice. But she's still smiling.


	3. Chapter 3

Taylor and Andrea are fighting again. It's been months since their last argument. Which makes this one even more explosive than usual. They were in the dorm when it happened. Nobody really saw it coming. Not after weeks and weeks of peace. It was an accident. The argument wasn't planned. But then they never are. Taylor noticed Andrea struggling to carry something so she walked up to help. Maybe she shouldn't have scolded the other girls for not noticing Andrea needed help. Maybe Andrea shouldn't have snapped back at her and refused to accept Taylor's kindness. Maybe the other girls shouldn't have joked about the two tribe leaders. They snap, they shout, they scream their anger out until there's nothing left. And everybody else watches on with hopeful bets. Taylor and Andrea hate that. They hate how everyone wants then to hate each other. How they expect them to kill each other all the time. Because even though they're mad both girls don't mean it, they don't want to fight. Not really. Andrea just feels smothered by the chav. She can't get a moment where the other girl isn't looking at her or talking to her. And Taylor just wants to keep Andrea safe. Keep her 'clean'. Both blame themselves for their fight. Both hate it. But it's in their nature to argue. It's in their nature to hate each other. Regardless of how much they don't want to. And they want so much for that to change. But they don't know how.

Andrea's holding her wrist and silently sobbing. Taylor had accidentally grabbed it when the emo tried to walk away and it'd opened up some of the stitches again. She's sat haunched over a table gently dabbing the blood away with her sleeve. She's lost in thought as she does. How could she have ever liked this? It's disgusting. It's cruel. She's just glad she's over that now. But thoughts about that day bring back thoughts about Taylor. The emo sighs. She didn't mean to snap at the girl. She didn't mean to shout. She knows the chav just wanted to help. And really she wanted her to. She feels bad about it all. She knows she hurt Taylor, and that hurts her too. Because Taylor is her friend now. Her only friend. Her best friend even. Upsetting her just makes Andrea feel like she's cutting again. She shakes her head. She shouldn't think those thoughts. Taylor told her not to. She said to talk to her if she got those thoughts. And she has been. Sometimes she even uses it as an excuse just to talk to Taylor. Because for some reason she really likes her now. Just being in the same room as the chav can make her smile. But she can't do that now Not after their argument. She doesn't know what to do. She doesn't want to cut but she doesn't want to feel either. It hurts too much. It opens up all the old memories, all the old nightmares. And she can't stand it. Andrea wraps her arms around her knees and rocks on the table, tightly holding herself so she can't move away. She won't cut again. She won't. She promised Taylor.

Taylor's sat on the old worn sofa, she's glaring at a box on the roof trying to implode it with her mind. She sighs at her anger and tilts her head back so she can look up at the clouds. She feels bad. Like, really bad. She should have realised she was getting too protective. But she couldn't help it. Something about the emo screamed for it, screamed for her to look out for her. She's tracing the scar on her elbow while she thinks, following the line of white up and down with her finger while she smiles at thoughts of Andrea. She's remembering the first time the emo called her silly. It must be her favourite memory with the emo. Andrea's called her that a lot recently. But it's not annoying like Taylor knows it should be. Andrea doesn't mean it in a mean way. She can tell by the smile Andrea gives her and that sparkle in the emos eyes. It's nearly a term of endearment. Taylor smiles. She likes being called silly by Andrea. She likes being called anything so long as it's the emo saying it. She sighs again. She misses that emo. She's worried about her. She's always worried about her. She's hoping Andrea's okay, praying she's not done anything stupid. Taylor would never forgive herself if Andrea started her addiction again. She'd kill herself if anything happened to the girl. Strangely that gets Taylor smiling. She's thinking about what might happen if their positions were reversed. Would Andrea have stopped it or would she have walked away like Taylor should have done? Taylor wants to say Andrea would have stayed. But she knows better. Andrea would have probably left her to it. Taylor doesn't care though. It happened the way it did and she's glad it had. She's glad she helped Andrea out. She needed a friend so that's what Taylor became. And Taylor laughs when she realised that's what she needed too. A mate. Someone to look out for. Someone to laugh with. She just never thought it'd be an emo. But who cares about that? It's not about the tribe it's about the girl. And this girl...she's just... Taylor blushes a little and calls herself an idiot. Because she is one. A mega one. Especially for what she's thinking. Taylor looks up at the sky and smiles at the clouds again. Andrea isn't weird. She isn't creepy. She's the complete opposite. Taylor allows herself to mumble it, to say it out loud so she knows what she's thinking is true. And the roof listens as she does. Perfect.

Andrea stopped crying a while ago. Her wrist has stopped bleeding. It's not so bad, there's only a couple of stitches loose. Nothing matron can't fix. Andrea isn't really thinking about it though. In fact she's not really thinking at all. She's completely calm, completely still. It's strange to her being this peaceful. This relaxed. She frowns to herself as she tries to work out why that is. She hasn't taken any drugs. She's not drunk. And she's not self harming. So what is it? She closes her eyes to focus. It's warm. It's a smile. It's a set of eyes and a tight hug. Andrea opens her eyes with a gasp. It's Taylor.

Taylor's searching the school now, she's hunting the emo down. She couldn't just sit around waiting for the girl to find her, the worrying got too much. She knew Andrea wouldn't seek her out anyway. Now she's terrified she's gonna find her dead in some classroom. Taylor skids into another corridor to check rooms. She's going so quick she's already cleared most of the upper floors. And she's in such a rush she doesn't care who she knocks flying as she runs, she just shoves them out of her way. She'd already asked Andrea's friends if they'd seen her, already interrogated belle and Kelly. And of course Polly and her geeks couldn't locate the emo with their computers. She's annoyed with them all. Somebody must have seen her. Somebody must care. Taylor worries she's alone in her search though. And it makes her go faster.

Andrea's breathing heavy. She can't believe what her head and heart are telling her. She can't believe anything anymore. It's all turned upside down on her. She scratches her arm, pinches her skin. She must be dreaming. Only in her messed up head would she make up something so ridiculous as this. But no. The sharp sting of her nails grinding into her flesh say otherwise. She actually is feeling this. She's actually thinking it. She laughs at herself. She's such an idiot. Such a stupid ignorant idiot. She should have realised before. She should have guessed. The door smacks open behind her suddenly and makes her jump. She covers her hand over her wrist out of reflex and turns to scowl at the girl for interrupting her. Her anger washes away the second she realised who it is. Her hand falls away from her wrist. She doesn't need to hide. Not from this girl.

Taylor crashes into the room and she falls to her knees panting with relief when she sees Andrea is fine. She'd been thinking the worse for a second there. Andrea's looking down at her with a slight smile, she's amused to see the chav in such a state. She smiles breathlessly back, she's glad Andrea seems to have calmed down. She'd been a little nervous she'd get shouted at again Taylor steadily gets to her feet and leans against the table Andrea's sat on. She motions with her hand to say she'll be a sec, she's just getting her breath back. Andrea smiles some more. So does Taylor. She rubs a stitch out of her side and starts looking the emo over. She's trying to be subtle but her eyes are searching the emos body for blood. She's so happy and relieved when she finds it empty. But then she notices the scratches on Andrea's arm. And she shakes her head angrily. Andrea did it didn't she? After everything she'd done for the emo she still went back to hurting herself. She looks up at Andrea, she reads the mixed emotions in the girls eyes. She's angry at Andrea but somehow, miraculously, she totally forgives her.

Andrea doesn't understand the tension in Taylor's shoulders. Doesn't get why she looks mad. She asks if she's okay but Taylor ignores her. Her eyes are running over Andrea, searching. It annoys Andrea. Can't she be trusted at all? Then Taylor's gaze locks on her arm. On the scratches. Andrea swallows. Now she understands. Taylor reaches out for her arm and delicately strokes the scratches. She asks who did it but it's obvious she already knows. Andrea answers anyway. Taylor just nods. She straightens up and Andrea's frightened a little. The chav smiles at her and pulls her off the table and into a hug. Andrea's shocked beyond belief and that makes Taylor laugh. Andrea let's herself sink inside the hug, she savours the warmth of the strong body rested against hers. She feels Taylor's chin rest on her shoulder, shifting a little to avoid a still healing cut there. She breathes out slowly and Andrea can feel every single muscle contract inside the chav with the breath. She smiles into Taylor's neck. She's happy. She thinks she belongs in this hug. That must be the reason why she doesn't want to leave it. Taylor breathes out again and whispers something. Andrea has to ask her to repeat herself. There's no way she heard that right. Taylor obliges and Andrea pulls away to stare at her. Did Taylor just apologise? Taylor just smiled impishly back. Yes she did.


	4. Chapter 4

Taylor feels warm, and not just because it's like a thousand degrees outside. She's sat back on the grassy fields at the back of the school, neatly hidden away from the others. Her hands rest behind her on the grass, keeping her propped up. There's a light breeze that caresses her face and cools it down. She smiles and leans back a little more. She's enjoying the peace. She's enjoying the sound of the world moving happily around her. It's perfect. Absolutely perfect.

Andrea walks slowly through the wood backing the fields behind the school. She's lost in thought again. It's been happening a lot lately and especially after she's been with Taylor. The chav always gives her a lot to think about. She kicks the dirt as she walks, angrily taking her frustration out on the world. It's so hot outside she can't stand it. Taylor told her yesterday to wear a tshirt in this weather but the emo is terrified to. What would everyone else say? They weren't like Taylor, they'd take one look at her and call her disgusting. She shivers just thinking about the names and pranks. She'd never hear the end of it. The wood creaks with the breeze and she smiles a little at it. She likes walking in here. It's like stepping into another world entirely. She can walk and talk to the air and be the completely crazy girl she hides from everybody else. She can be herself. She guesses just being here is another of her addictions. At least it's not a dangerous one.

Taylor's phone buzzes in her pocket. She softly groans to herself and pulls it out. She'd been hoping for at least an hour of peace and quiet. She blinks when it's just a network text. Maybe the others are doing fine without her after all. Or they've all killed each other. Either way she's free to keep chilling. She should be smiling about that, only she's started going through her inbox. Through the largest and only important thread in there. Andrea's. Her grip tightens on her phone when she reads through all the blue bubbles. She winces at the pain in Andrea's words. The texts are old but it still hurts reading them. It still brings a burn to Taylor's chest and has her holding back some tears. They're never graphic in any sense that makes Taylor think the emo is cutting. They never really say much. Mostly _'Hello_' and _'Can we meet up again?_'. But it's the ones that share more. The ones that follow Andrea's sudden leaving of a room, or her unbreakable silence during one of their library meetings. Those are the texts that grip at Taylor's heart strings. Those are the ones that make her worry.

The chav hesitates phoning the emo. After their fight before she's learnt to give Andrea space. It's just... Taylor sighs. She's embarrassed to admit she misses Andrea. She feels lonely when the emo isn't there making cynical comments about the world and all it's inhabitants. Maybe she should phone her. Perhaps Andrea's bored and wants to hang out. Taylor taps her phone against her leg before she decides to leave it. Andrea's probably busy. She probably wouldn't want Taylor calling her. Taylor sits back into her previous position and let's out a long breath. She thinks sadly to herself as she tilts her head back. Andrea probably wouldn't want her.

Andrea continues walking and thinking. She's not really paying attention to where she's going. That's why she's scared when she finds herself in a random field. She's never been here before. She looks back and doesn't recognise the path behind her either. She's lost. Brilliant. The emo scowls to herself and kicks at a nearby tree. Now how is she supposed to find the school again?! She's so angry and frustrated with herself. She plonks herself down on a tree stump and props her chin up on her hand. She's sick of this. She's sick of making mistakes without realising. She just wants to be normal. She wants to be like everyone else. Taylor would call her dumb for those thoughts. She'd say Andrea was normal. But Andrea wouldn't believe her. She never does. Andrea sighs aggravated. She wishes Taylor were here now. She'd rant and cuss until the sun went down at them being lost and Andrea would love and enjoy every single second of it. She loves spending time with the chav. She loves it. She slumps a little more in her makeshift seat and decides if she's lost she may as well think some more. But instead of thinking a way out of her predicament like she knows she ought to she lets her mind drift back to that smile. Back to those eyes. She loves it. She loves Taylor. Andrea freezes suddenly. _Oh no_. She loves Taylor.

Taylor feels sleepy. It's all this sunbathing. She doesn't get up though. She doesn't dare. She likes alone time with the sky. She likes not having an argument with anyone, not fighting anyone, not thinking. Well, not thinking about school. She still thinks about Andrea. She never stops thinking about Andrea. Sometimes she even dreams about her. It's been weeks since she last caught the emo cutting herself but she's still worried. It stresses her out thinking Andrea might break any second. It makes her feel bad being here alone. Makes her wish she'd grow some nerve and just call the emo. She should be inside the school or at least somewhere Andrea can find her. What if the emo has a moment and she's not there? Taylor sits up with that thought. She should get back. Definitely. She tucks her phone into her pocket and twists over to stand up. That's when she jumps. She never noticed she'd been sneaked up on. Her eyes follow a black stocking up a pale leg and she smiles at the little scar on the girl's knee. Andrea found her.

Andrea sniggers at Taylor. She's glad she managed to sneak up on the chav, usually it's so difficult. She supposes Taylor must have been thinking hard about something. Taylor looks up at her and flashes her that smile again. Andrea grins back. She loves that smile. The chav scoots over and pats the space beside her. Andrea bites her lip indecisively before she nods and sinks down beside the chav. She's a little worried about spending time with her anymore. Surely it will only make things worse? She can't say no though. As confused as she's feeling about it all Andrea doesn't want to leave. She never wants to leave.

Taylor lays back on her palms again and Andrea catches her grinning to herself when she leans back with her. They don't talk. There's no need to. Somehow they've managed to create communication through silence. And it's nice. For both of them. It's nice. Their hands accidentally brush when Taylor shifts a little in the sunlight. They both look down at them. They both smile. It's strange how perfect it feels, for both of them. But then Taylor mumbles an apology and moves her hand away. Andrea shakes her head and lays her fingers back over the chav's. They don't speak. They don't need to. It's all there in their smiles.


	5. Chapter 5

Taylor's chosen a bad one today. Her finger is tracing the long line of pink marking Andrea's shoulder. It's deep and vicious. It almost looks like an animal clawed her. She shivers. She could just picture Andrea making it. Could just see the blade poised ready in the emo's hand. What could have possibly made her make something so harsh and painful? Andrea pulls the chavs hand away from her shoulder and holds it in her own. She grips Taylor's fingers tightly. She's trying to use the soft feel of Taylor's hand as a block to her hurt. She can feel Taylor staring at her. Knows she's confused. Andrea doesn't want to say but she knows she has to. She promised after all. And she knows Taylor won't let up until she finds out. She takes a deep breath, musters a lungful of courage, and she tells her. Slowly. Nervously. She even stutters over most parts because she can't stand the look in Taylor's eyes, can't stand the way Taylor's hand has frozen in hers. Because she can't stand herself.

Taylor's fighting hard not to hit something. Not to cry. Not to shout. The reason behind that scar, the reason Andrea made it, it was her. It was Taylor. Andrea's already told her it was ages ago and it wasn't her fault, it just happened after a dumb argument one day. Taylor just ignored her. Ignores everything. She played a part in making that cut therefore it was her fault. She's not listening to Andrea speak anymore. She's busy looking over Andrea's body, eyes scanning every last inch of pale flesh. Shes wondering just how many of those scars were made because of her. She's scared to find out.

Andrea knows what Taylor's thinking. She cups the girls hands and pull her face up so she's looking at her. There are tears there and Andrea doesn't like it. She wipes one away from the chav's cheek and gives Taylor a brave smile. Taylor still cries. She's even trembling. Andrea winces and feels her own tears pull up. She's never seen the chav like this before. She's never seen Taylor cry. And it's scaring her a little. She looks away before the pain can get too much, before it can start to stir the dark thoughts lying dormant in her mind. She only looks back when she hears Taylor's breath catching and she feels Taylor's fingers graze over the scar. It feels brilliant, having Taylor touch her so gently like that. Andrea even closes her eyes a little. She's amazed and shocked then when Taylor stretches up suddenly and kisses it. Andrea stares at the chav. She's in shock. Complete and total shock. She can't really processed what just happened. Can't even believe it just happened. She runs it over in her head a few thousand times while Taylor moves back again. She pulls the feel of Taylor's lips pressing against her skin straight through her head over and over again. She doesn't understand much right now but she knows one thing for certain. She wants Taylor to kiss her again.

Taylor's nervous. She's not sure what possessed her to kiss Andrea. She just wanted to take it away. She just wanted to kill the memory the scar was leaving on Andrea's skin. Maybe she thought if she did something stupidly memorable Andrea would think of that rather than the moment she made it? She doesn't know. She leans away from Andrea. The emo is staring at her still but Taylor knows any minute now that shock will turn into something nastier. She flinches. She's expecting a smack. She's expecting rage. She's expecting the emo to scream at her to leave her alone forever. Taylor wouldn't blame her. She'd probably do the exact same thing. Yep, any second now Andrea will stand up, slap her, and storm out for good. And Taylor knows she deserves it. She jumps when Andrea finally moves. She's not expecting hands to tightly fist her shirt and pull her in. She's not expecting to hear that deep breath of hesitation or see a roll of nervousness wave through those hazel eyes. And she's definitely not expecting Andrea's lips to trap her own.

Andrea thinks she's gone mad. She thinks she's finally lost the plot completely. Why is she kissing Taylor again? She doesn't know. She doesn't care. It doesn't matter. She just needs to keep it going, if only for a few more seconds. Taylor jumped with surprise when she felt Andrea pull her forward. She gasped loudly when she felt the kiss. She made a tiny sound that Andrea swears was a little moan of sorts before her hands came up to Andrea's side. Taylor's not kissing her back though. That's bad right? The emo starts to move away. She's scared of rejection. She's scared Taylor will tell her to stop, tell her to leave. She's completely terrified Taylor will call her names and walk out for good. But Taylor doesn't. Those hands aren't moving to remove the emo. They gently stroke up Andrea's side, thumbs brushing out against the emo's ribs so softly it has Andrea's breath catching. No those hands are definitely not stopping the problem. They're moving to exacerbate it.

Taylor's smiling. Andrea's smiling. Hands are pressing, fingers are scratching. They're both breathing quick. They're both kissing hard. It feels strange and brilliant and weird and perfect all in one. It blurs the world around them. Nothing else matters anymore but them. They marvel at the closeness of their bodies. They soak up the tenderness of each other's touch. They sigh, gasp and groan. Taylor takes full advantage of Andrea's toplessness and puts those hands of hers to good use. She has the emo gasping wildly into her mouth, she eats up every sound. She grins back, she laughs. She loves those little noises.

Andrea feels close to combustion with all this touching. She feels her skin heat up, feels her blood boil under Taylor's hands. She thought by now she'd be more than used to Taylor's fingers pressing into her skin. But no. It's like she's feeling it all for the first time again. And she loves every single last one. She kisses the chav. Her hand is cupping Taylor's cheek, her thumb slowly strokes up and down Taylor's jaw while they kiss, feeling the way it moves when Taylor kisses her back. Taylor hums appreciatively. She likes it. Andrea smiles. She's glad. She traps the girl's lips in her own and sucks down on them while her legs press against Taylor's sides. And she smiles when Taylor jolts up and grips her thighs. The chav stretches up closer. She moves a hand into Andrea's hair. She whispers the emo's name, voice ladened with a deep husk Andrea finds herself moaning to. She drags her mouth away from Andrea's and down the emos neck. Moving slow and pressing hard. They're both seeing stars by the time Taylor gets back to those lips again.

Suddenly everything makes sense now. Taylor's protectiveness, Andrea's need of Taylor. Their constant thoughts and worries surrounding each other. It's obvious now this moment has been a long time coming. Even if such a thing had never crossed their minds. It's an addiction and this time they'd both happily admit they're addicted.

They break apart and look at each other. See the moment in each other's eyes.

They laugh.

They realise.

They're addicted.


	6. Chapter 6

Andrea shifts a little in the warm sunshine. She's smiling so wide. Her head gently rises and falls with the chest breathing under her cheek. She's tracing her fingers up and down a warm side, listening to soft breaths mixing into the air around her. She likes sitting with Taylor sure, but she absolutely loves laying with her as she sleeps. It's fun. It's interesting. It's fascinating even. She'll never get over how perfectly soft Taylor's skin is. How gently she breathes as she sleeps. Or how beautiful she looks. It doesn't matter where she falls asleep at, it doesn't affect it at all. And Andrea just loves that. Taylor doesn't seem to care anymore either. Her usual complaints about the creepy staring have died down. Andrea even suspects the chav is enjoying the attention. It'd explain the increase in daytime naps lately. She just wishes she could sleep too. Wishes she could be curled up beside Taylor dreaming about nothing important while the world passes them by. But she can't. Andrea isn't allowed sleep. Dreaming isn't good for her. At all. But Taylor is. And for now that's moe than good enough.

The emo raises herself and smiles down at the other girl. The rare autumn sun is stretched across her face, probably blinding her even with closed eyes. There's a little cool breeze that keeps blowing Taylor's hair and raising little shivers through her. Andrea smiles as she strokes over the tiny goosebumps raising up on Taylor's arm. She keeps glancing up to make sure the other girl is still asleep. She doesn't want to get caught being so touchy and nice. But Taylor's still dreaming away. Andrea feels her eyes soften. She looks so peaceful. Andrea leans on her elbow beside her. She strokes the girls cheek, her nose, her lips. Taylor smiles in her sleep when Andrea does that. And she mumbles something. She looks so cute the emo can't help herself. Andrea tucks her hair away behind her ear before she bends down and kisses Taylor. The chav seems to wake up a little and Andrea chuckles at the sleepy kiss she gets back. It feels held back. Like Taylor's just pretending to be asleep still. She probably is. Andrea holds back a smile and scratches Taylor's side as she leans away. Taylor does wake up then. Her hands cup Andrea's face and she leans up for a deeper kiss. And Andrea gladly lets her do it.

Taylor smiles at the hand pressing down on her stomach. She grins at the groan Andrea lets slip against her mouth. She loves little reactions like that. The emo licks Taylor's lips and laughs when Taylor sits up to bend over her. Her fingers dance up under the thin black fabric covering Andrea's side while her mouth moves away down her white throat. She smiles at the bare flesh greeting her lips as she moves further down. Andrea's not wearing her usual hoody today. Taylor finally convinced her to wear a tshirt, and Andrea had to go for one that hung off the shoulder. Taylor knows why of course, she's not dumb. The emo just loves it when Taylor kisses her there. And Taylor loves it too. It reminds her of their first kiss. Her lips drag over the uneven groove of scars before it dips into a pale neck. She nibbles a little on the smooth skin there and Andrea's little gasp eggs her on. She falls away to the scar again. The shoulder one. Her one. She fills with hurt every time she sees it. She still feels bad about it. Even though Andrea tells her not to. Taylor kisses it, from tip to bottom and then she whispers against it. It's an apology. It's a promise. It's an oath. Andrea pushes her back. Taylor fills with nervousness. Andrea's staring again. Taylor just said she loved her.

Andrea's in shock. Taylor said..she..what? Andrea knows she loves Taylor. She's known for months. But she didn't think it was something Taylor felt too. She doesn't know how to react. She's staring at the chav. She's trying to work out whether it was a lie. Would Taylor be that cruel? Taylor's watching her. She looks so scared. Andrea can't breathe suddenly. Suddenly everything leaves her. Without thinking she's backing away from the chav, she's stumbling to her feet. Taylor's asks her to stay so she can explain. Andrea just shakes her head. She can't process this right now. She runs.

Taylor feels stupid. Mega stupid. She feels weak and sick and dizzy. She just told somebody she loved them. That's the first time she'd ever said it. The first time she'll ever mean it. And the girl she told is running away from her. She feels her heart break a little. She's never been rejected before. It's crippling. It's painful. It hurts. She doesn't like it. Why didn't Andrea just talk to her? She could have said no. She could have told Taylor she doesn't feel the same. It wouldn't have stung as bad as this. Taylor smacks herself. She's such an idiot! Andrea was her best mate and now she's probably lost her. Pain rocks through the chav, it's stings her like an electric bolt. She feels like crying but the tears don't come. And she doesn't want to feel this way. She angrily smacks the ground by her leg, and then she gasps. Her hand is bleeding, there's a sharp piece of stone embedded in the side of her palm. She stares at the blood. She thinks about how everyone else around here deals with hurt. And she swallows.

Andrea's collapsed on her tree stump. She's out of breath but not from the running. She can't believe it. She shouldn't believe it. She wants to though. She wants so much to believe Taylor honestly loves her too but she just can't. Because it isn't right, it isn't natural. She tells herself to relax, to think it through, but when she does all she can think about is Taylor's smile again. She's so hurt. How could Taylor be that mean? She knew Andrea depended on her. Relied on her. She must have guessed the emo was starting to like her more. Andrea just can't believe she didn't see it coming. She scratches her arm just to make sure it's not a dream. It isn't. What she's feeling is real. And she doesn't want to feel it. She hasn't felt this much pain in months. Taylor always made it go away, like she promised to. The emo let's another tear slip down her cheek. It splashes against the fading lines on her forearm. She frowns down at it all. Why would Taylor wait this long to kill her? Why would she do it this way? Surely she'd get a good enough kick from it by telling everyone. It's confusing. And Andrea doesn't like being confused. Her nails scratch harder into her skin and she bites her lip to stop the urge to her up and find something sharp. She won't start that again. Especially not because Taylor's triggered it. The emo closes her eyes. She needs to think calmly. She needs the comfort of the dark to make her relax properly.

Taylor can feel tears but she's not crying, and it annoys her. She wants to cry. She wants to let it all out in a sob fest so she can get it out of the way and get back to normal. But it's like the burn in her chest won't let her. It's like something inside her wants her to sit in the misery of it all for as long as possible. She's still staring at the blood. She's rubbing her thumb against it. She's remembering doing it with Andrea. She's hurting more now. Taylor doesn't know what to do. Everything's turned upside down on her. She keeps watching herself bleed. She frowns in concentration and thinks, how does everybody else stop heartbreak?

The wind picks up around her, makes her shiver. Makes her wish she had her hoody. She's a little annoyed Taylor persuaded her to go without it today. Because now she feels really insecure without it. Like everyone can see what she's done. Andrea sighs. She's letting the bad thoughts in again. She's thinking about Taylor again. But she can't help it. She's always thinking about Taylor. She just sits there for a while, calmly thinking it all through, calmly making sense of it all, until a little crack behind her makes her jump. It's just a fox, scuttling after some poor mouse. She watches them go and tries to calm her heart. She feels a lot like that little mouse right now. All small and scared. Everybody else is always chasing her away. She's scratching her arm again. She squeezes her eyes shut and counts down from ten. It's another method Taylor got her into. It works. Her wrist hurts when she lets it go but it's not bleeding. Thankfully. Just a little bruised. She tucks her hands under her legs so she can't do anything else stupid, gently swinging her feet above the ground. It's calming. It's routine. She focuses less on the scratches and more on the gentle swing of her feet.

Andrea has no idea how long it's been since she ran. She's scared to look at her phone. Scared to think of what it's done to Taylor. Taylor, she sighs and mutters under her breath to herself. She'll have to go talk to her. Whether it's to talk it out or murder the girl she has to go back. She takes a deep breath and wipes her eyes, and when she looks up again it's like she's been hit with a sudden cloud of clarity. Taylor isn't lying. She's not playing games. Of course she isn't. Her Taylor wouldn't do that. She loves her. She actually loves her. Andrea looks back at the field. Taylor loves her, and she ran away.

Taylor's staring at her hand still. There's a sharp bit of glass sitting inside it now, something she found in the grass beside her. She's not sure how long she's been sat here, she hasn't moved since Andrea left. The sun looks like it's setting behind her. She noticed it was going dark once Andrea left. It always goes dark when Andrea leaves. She's spent the last few hours, minutes, whatever, watching herself bleed. All awhile she's been thinking. Thinking she could do it. She could see a little more blood. She could make a few scars. Who'd care? Andrea wouldn't. Heck she'd probably jump right in and help her. But this isn't Taylor. She's not like that. It's just a stupid minute of compulsion. A dumb moment of weakness. Of intrigue. She won't let it get to her. But she is scared. She sees now how easy it is to give in. How easy it is to let her body burn so her mind doesn't have to. She gets the addiction. And she's terrified it will get her. She's seen it work on Andrea, she's seen it come back over and over. She's helped her fight it. But it's like a disease that won't go away until it's killed you. Until you've killed you. Taylor trembles. She's shaking her head to herself. She's clenching a fist around the glass. That won't be her. She won't do that. And she won't let Andrea do it either. She pulls her arm back and lobs the glass away with an angry glare after it. Her hand stings suddenly and when she looks down at it she knows why. She cut herself.

Andrea's gone paler than normal. She feels cold. She feels sick. Taylor's bleeding. She's just thrown something away. Andrea can't believe it. Taylor cut herself. Taylor just self harmed. Andrea wants to throw up. She can't believe it's happened again. Not to her, not to Taylor. She's disgusted with herself. She knew she should have called it off ages ago. Knew she should have kept a distance from the chav. Because she's infected her. Taylor's clenched her fist around the blood, she's quietly sobbing to herself. Andrea hides her own hurt tears when she watches Taylor collapse onto her side in a tight ball crying. Andrea swallows. She should go. She should just leave and pretend she saw nothing. Taylor will calm down and come back and then they can both carry on like before. Andrea doesn't do that. She can't. She won't. She won't abandon Taylor. She slowly walks over and settles down beside the other girl. She gently strokes Taylor's cheek before she wraps her arm over the girls waist. She hears Taylor's breath catch, she feels it jolt against her arm. She presses herself closer. She feels warm. She feels protected. She feels safe.

Taylor calms a little under the emos touch and she slowly glances back at Andrea. Andrea's staring at the blood on her hand. And she knows the emo is fighting the compulsion to up and run. She can tell by the way her hand twitches and the way she bites her lip. Taylor wouldn't blame her if she did. She wants Andrea to go, to leave. She doesn't want the girl getting tempted herself. Andrea looks down at Taylor and she smiles, she kisses Taylor's shoulder and tells her everything will be fine. There's a little glint of judgement in her eyes though, a little twist of pain. She's thinking Taylor is a hypocrite. Taylor just knows she does. Knows she is one. But Andrea doesn't understand. It wasn't intentional. Just an accident. But then it always is just an accident isn't it?

She doesn't say anything. Let's Andrea think what she thinks. She reckons she deserves it. Andrea must see the look of defeat in the chavs eyes because she's soon asking what's wrong. Taylor shakes her head. Remains silent. Then Andrea says the one thing she knows will get Taylor to listen. The one thing she knows Taylor wants to hear. The one thing Taylor can't believe. Andrea says she loves her. She actually loves her. Taylor's heart pounds in her chest and she blushes a little when Andrea smirks. Taylor knows then Andrea isn't hating her for what's happened. She isn't judging. Taylor laughs and kisses the emos head. She can't believe her luck. Neither girl believes what's happening.


	7. Chapter 7

It's snowing. Andrea hates snow. She hates how it gets everywhere and gets you cold and wet. How it turns to slush and ruins your clothes. She huffs to herself and shivers on the spot. She has no idea why she's out here. Taylor didn't say. She's praying it isn't some trick to get her landed in a snowball fight. She hates them especially. She stands stomping her feet on the frozen school steps, vaguely looking out for Taylor while the others race around the school lobbing snow at each other. She rolls her eyes at them. What a bunch of kids.

Taylor squeezes her hands together, forcing the snow to compact. She's smiling as she does it. Because there's only one girl this snowball is aiming for. She keeps sneaking a peak at Andrea from around the courtyard wall, laughing to herself when she finds the emo still stood there stomping her feet cold. She chuckles and continues forming the snowball, batting it up in her hand when it's ready. She starts to slowly inch around the wall, hiding the ball behind her back incase Andrea happens to look over and catch her. She needn't have bothered. The emo's too busy watching the twins form teams for their annual snow fight. Taylor stops a moment to admire the girl before she kicks herself back into focusing. She stops by the stairs. She reckons a little distraction should get Andrea down them easy. Then it's just hitting her with it. She grins and signals one of her girls out by the field. And she stifles a laugh at the creative insults the chav starts throwing Andrea's way. Just like she'd guessed Andrea starts towards the other chav. She's most definitely on her way to murder the girl. Taylor waits until she's clean of the last step before she aims her throw and chucks the snowball, smiling to herself as it arches the air towards its victim.

Andrea jumps and swears. There's cold ice running all the way down her back. Who the hell had the guts to tag her?! She'll kill them! She spins around but there's nobody there. That chav girl is shouting again, something about her sleeping with dead people. Andrea feels her patience snap and turns to pursue the girl. The breath whooshes out of her when she hits something mid turn. She groans and opens her eyes. A white school blouse greets her eyes. She walked into someone? How? Andrea starts to tilt her face up. They're tall. Maybe it was one of the totties, or Kelly. Maybe even belle, she's seems to be on a growth spurt lately. She's wondering why the girl hasn't shouted at her for being clumsy. She's frowning as she looks up but before she can do more than register their uniform lips are crashing into hers. She jumps and the girl smiles. Andrea relaxes. She knows that smile. She loves that smile. She kisses Taylor back, happily losing herself in it with a little laugh when she realises something. Taylor's just given her a reason to like the snow.

Andrea feels warm. She tastes warm. Taylor pulls the emo in closer and wraps her arms around her. She never realised how cold she was before, Andrea's like a flame to her. She smiles through the kiss. She doesn't mind being burnt by the emo. Andrea's hands have unzipped her hoody, they're sneaking around Taylor's side to her back. The chav gets the hint and pulls Andrea in real close so she can wrap the hoodie around her too. She can never stop believing just how soft and docile Andrea can be at times. It's a non stop surprise for the chav. Andrea slows the kiss and Taylor pouts a little when it breaks off completely. She rather enjoyed that. Andrea looks a little embarrassed and when Taylor glances up she realises why. What must be the entire school is surrounding them in a circle. Every girl is stood in shock with their mouths hanging open. Even Kelly is. Chelsea's the first one to ask about them, quickly followed by belle and celia. Andrea quietly groans and hides herself against Taylor's neck. Taylor just nods at the other girls with a secret grin when they all start swapping money around her. She rolls her eyes and whispers to Andrea. She smiles when the emo nods and she kisses the girls neck before leading her away from the others.

Andrea's blushing. Actually blushing! She feels so embarrassed. How did they forget they were out in the open like that?! She blames Taylor entirely. That chav will always be a greater distraction to the emo. Always. Taylor's still grinning. She's even humming as they walk. Andrea just rolls her eyes. It's anything for attention for that girl. She looks around as they walk. The fields look prettier now the others aren't there massacring the sheets of white. The snow even looks inviting. She eyes the untouched blanket by the old fountain especially and gets a sudden urge to run through it. Taylor leads her away though with a sly wink when Andrea asks where they're going. The chav leads her away from the school to a little path that's been made in the snow. It leads to Andrea's little wood. She smiled then. They're going to have privacy for whatever this is about.

She walks ahead and Taylor lets her . She's almost skipping as she reached the little wood. And then she gasps. The trees are covered in sparkling ice and the floor is dusted with snow. Hanging from the branches of the trees are little jars full of burning trinsky. It creates a soft natural glow that sings with the snow and ice around her. Andrea feels like she's stepped into a different world completely. She loves it. Taylor steps up behind her and wraps her up in a hug. She kisses Andrea's cheek and asks for an opinion. The emo smiles at the nervous pitch in the other girls voice, at the slight tremble in Taylor's fingers resting by her hips. She nods. She's speechless. It's all so perfect. She turns in the chavs arms and kisses her, putting absolutely everything into it so Taylor knows what she's thinking. The chav groans a little and presses Andrea tighter against her. Andrea pulls her off though. She wants to look around some more. She takes Taylor's hand and starts walking, following the lit path out into Taylor's field.

Taylor's heart is pounding in her chest. That was without doubt the best kiss she's ever had ever. She's still a little dazed from it. But she's glad the emo liked her surprise, it makes getting up at the crack of dawn to prepare it all completely worth it. Andrea tugs in her hand and Taylor pulls her back, spinning her into her side so they can walk together. The emo smiled up at her then and Taylor feels herself fall just that little more for her. She kisses Andrea's head as they walk, she whispers in her ear. She likes the way the emo shivers under her breath, she likes the way Andrea bites her lip with a smile. Taylor smirks and glances up at their location before covering Andrea's eyes with her hands. Andrea jumps and immediately starts to pull Taylor's fingers down. The chav just chuckles and walks Andrea forward. The emo gives up on escape and walks too, laughing with Taylor when they sway from her lack of balance. Taylor walks her up the little hill to her spot and she grins. She whispers in Andrea's ear again and she kisses it before letting her go. Andrea looks up at the Christmas tree that's suddenly sprouted in Taylor's spot, at the decorations covering it, and the blankets laid next to it. She looks back at Taylor speechless again. Taylor laughs and tugs her down onto the blanket. She knew they wouldn't be together for Christmas, though not from a lack of trying, so she decided to make whatever time she did have count. And from the way Andrea's smiling she knows she nailed it. She reaches under the tree for a second and hands Andrea a little box. Andrea takes it, eying it suspiciously. Taylor grins and leans back on her hands, laughing surprised when Andrea opens her gift and grins. She looks up and leaps at the other girl to kiss her. Taylor collapses on her back and Andrea falls with her. They laugh a moment, and then they're kissing.

Andrea loves the feel of Taylor underneath her. She loves the contrast of a warm body burning against her in the cold around them. Taylor gently takes the box out of her hand and places it down somewhere on the ground near them. Andrea doesn't mind. It's freed her hands. They creep all over Taylor's front, they brush her neck and hold her cheek. Taylor's smiling so much under her lips, she's breathless against her. Andrea is too. Her hands fall down Taylor's neck again. They sneak down the chav's stomach and up under her shirt. Taylor flinches with the cold of Andrea's fingers before she stretches up to roll them. Andrea giggles. She loves it when Taylor gets dominant. It's fun, it's sexy. She lets Taylor take her jacket off. She's glad she does. It's boiling here with the chav.

The chav unzips the black hoody Andrea's wearing underneath her jacket and she kisses a steady path down Andrea's neck to her front. Andrea arches up and pulls Taylor down closer, she tightens her fingers in the chavs hair. Taylor's slowly kissing the scar on her shoulder while her fingers fumble with the buttons on Andrea's blouse. Andrea's breathing hard now, she's watching herself blow steam into the cold air while Taylor grazes her teeth down. Andrea trembles and closes her eyes. She tightens her hold on Taylor again. She needs another hit like that.

Taylor stops though. She's moving away. Andrea sits up and frowns. Taylor just shakes her head and smirks. Andrea follows Taylor's gaze to the glade behind them and she rolls her eyes at the girls flashing their photo. She calls them perverts and zips her jacket back up. The girls scarper. Taylor smiles.


	8. Chapter 8

It's the end of the year, their last year. Andrea hasn't self harmed in months. She even has a bracelet to prove it. She's sat on her bed smiling down at it. It was Taylor's idea. Kinda like what support groups do with their sobriety coins. Except this is much more special. Taylor made it herself. On the outside it looks like a charm bracelet, but there's numbers on the little figures. All the days and weeks she's stayed strong. It's beautiful really. But the emo prefers the second bracelet Taylor made her, the one she was given out in the snow. To her its perfect. Andrea fingers the intricate leather plait, following the braiding around her wrist. There's a little thin band of gold thread that passes through each plait piece, it shines in the light. The entire thing is beautiful. Andrea never ceases to be amazed with the chav. She truly is brilliant.

But the year is up. They're leaving school. They're leaving each other. Andrea's not sure what will happen without Taylor. She's not sure she can handle it on her own. She's scared. Terrified. All she's ever known these past months is Taylor. What will happen without her? It depresses her. Makes her mope. Taylor's assured her they'll still see each other but to Andrea it seems impossible. In reality they live nowhere near each other. And she knows the occasional visit or email just won't cut it. There she goes again. She winces and goes back to her study of her bracelet. Routine. That's all she focuses on.

Taylor's stood by her bed. She's watching Andrea with a fond smile while the girl plays with her bracelets. She's glad the emo liked them. She's glad the emo accepted them. She was a little worried she wouldn't. Especially the charm one. She'd been worried Andrea would see it as some sick joke. But she didn't. She loved it. Said it was a brilliant idea. Taylor's finger grazes the scar on her hand as she watches Andrea. She smiles. She loves that emo. She honestly does. And even though their year is up she's not letting that get in the way. She smirks to herself at the little weight in her pocket. She can't wait to show her newest present to Andrea. She knows the emo will love it. Speaking of emos..

Andrea's looking at Taylor with a narrowed gaze, she's walking slowly up to her. There's something about that smirk she doesn't trust. It's Taylor's sneaky one, the one that says she's got a surprise waiting. Whether it's a nice one or not is what Andrea's worried about. Taylor fixes herself so she's smiling at her instead and Andrea takes it as a cue to walk straight up to her and hug her. The room surrounds them in wolf whistles and chants. Andrea rolls her eyes at them all. Taylor grins. The others eventually shut up when Kelly walks into the room to check on packing. Andrea's glad for it. She hates all the attention. Taylor squeezes her and takes her hand. Andrea frowns at her. What's she up to? Taylor just smiles and starts walking out of the dorm. Andrea tags along. She's too intrigued to stay behind.

Taylor's smiling. She's got that nervous jolt rushing through her again. She's got the doubts and the insecurities. But she brushes them away and holds Andrea's hand tighter. The emo has questions as they walk up the stairs to the roof, she doesn't trust Taylor's smile. Taylor just grins back at her. Not giving any hints to her surprise. She guides the emo over to the sofa, to their little hangout spot. She smiles at all the memories that'll live in that thing forever. Andrea sits down but Taylor stays standing. She's fiddling in her pocket as she talks to Andrea. She doesn't miss the way the emos eyes keep glancing suspiciously down at it.

She's talking about how they've had a brilliant year, how Andrea is her best mate. She's even choking up a little. Andrea just smiles up at her, she's a little tearful too. Taylor takes Andrea's hand and brings her other one out of her pocket, palm heavy with the gift. Andrea's confusion turns to horror when Taylor kneels. The chav laughs at her, tells her to chill out and hold her hand out. Andrea does and Taylor cant help but chuckle at the tremble in the emos fingers as they hover beneath hers. Taylor gives it a few seconds, she's savouring it while she can. Andrea gives her an impatient look and Taylor finally gives in. She drops something into the emos palm.

Andrea stares at it. Taylor stares at Andrea. The next few seconds turn into years for the chav while she waits for an answer. The wait is killing her. Andrea holds the key up to the light, frowns at it, frowns at Taylor, before she reaches out and hugs the chav. Taylor feels her breath leave her. She's going to take that as a yes. She's relieved. She's so happy. Andrea squeezes her tighter and kisses the chavs skin wherever she can reach. Taylor just holds her close. She promised to help Andrea, she promised to look out for her. That little key is her way of keeping that promise. Of keeping Andrea safe. She smiles when Andrea kisses her. She's glad her little emo has realised. They might be leaving St Trinians. But it's not the end of their story.

It's just a new chapter.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N; So after writing 'Addict' I couldn't stop carrying it on past the girls leaving school. So hello new sequel! ^^ Wanna know what it's gonna be like? Keep reading :)**__

* * *

_Taylor opens her eyes and groans. She's waken up before her alarm again. She sighs and stretches out, looking back when the body next to her twitches. She smiles and wraps herself around the other girl, pulls her back against her chest. She closes her eyes and finds herself drifting off with the sleeping breaths covering the room. She smiles and tucks her chin on a pale shoulder. She doesn't mind being late today._

_Andrea's smiling. She loves it when Taylor can't sleep. It means she gets brilliant breakfast cuddles. Taylor's arms constrict around her and pull her even closer. Her lips brush Andrea's shoulder soothingly while her hand begins stroking the skin on her stomach. Andrea sighs contently. She's so warm and comfortable. A deep breath leaves her bed companion and it gently blows in Andrea's ear. She shivers. She turns. Taylor's gone back to sleep. Or she's pretending. Andrea still finds it hard figuring which the chav is trying to pull. But it never takes much to wake Taylor up. She smiles and silently admires the girl in the dim light shining through the blinds. She looks so peaceful and cute. Watching Taylor sleep is still a happy hobby for Andrea. She doubts she'll ever tire of it._

_Taylor smiles, she can feel Andrea watching her. She grumbles about her staring and when Andrea laughs she simply huffs and pretends to roll over for space. She can bet Andrea just rolled her eyes at her. Taylor's biting on her lip though, any second now Andrea will try to wake her up. And there's only one way Taylor wakes up for Andrea. And she's not disappointed. _

_A cool hand touches her shoulder, delicate fingers brush her hair away. Taylor has to really focus on remaining quiet when those lips begin working their magic on her. She really has to hold back the groan. Andrea knows every single weak spot on Taylor's body. She's kissed and licked every last patch. So it's no wonder she goes straight for them today..._


End file.
